Relationships Communication Restarter

Is the communication in your romantic relationship gone or none existent? Are you interested in attempting to restart the communication in your relationship? If you answered, “yes.” the information provided here would help you to achieve your desired goal. The facts-of-life, shows and proves that a relationship may stumble along for a while without money, love, and sex, but it cannot survive without communication.

Examples Of Communication Problems

The following are examples of what happens in a relationship where there is a communication problem: (a) both of you avoid each other because you are not interested in talking with each other, (b) when you open your mouth to say something, it’s either negative, insulting, blaming, or accusatory in tone; (c) when your spouse or partner asks you a question or says something to you, even though it might be a compliment, you act irritated, or stay silent; (d) both of you let your concerns and dissatisfaction with each other to build-up without talking about it. Then, one day it results into a big out-of-control argument or fight. Is this happening in your relationship?

Laying The Foundations For A Solution

I will show you something very simple, that will not cost you anything, to help you restart the communication which has disappeared from your relationship. When you apply what I am about to show you, it works like magic, but you must first lay the foundation for it to work. This foundation, relies on another basic fact-of-life, that another person will only listen to what you have to say to them, if you make them feel comfortable and respect their own concerns and issues too. You should treat your spouse or partner with respect, avoid all arguments, treat him or her nice. In simple terms, make your spouse comfortable before you apply the next step.

The Two Sheets of Paper Magical Act

I would like you to do the following: (a) get four blank sheets of paper. Two of them would be for you and two for your spouse or partner, (b) on one of those blank sheets of paper, write a title or heading which states: “10 Great Qualities About You That I Like:” (c) on the other blank sheet of paper write a title or heading which states: “10 Things I Do That Will Destroy Our Relationship That I Will Change;” (d) you must complete your own two lists and give them to your spouse or partner, at a time he or she is relaxed and in a good mood, (e) and give your spouse the other two sheets with the same title and heading, to be completed, (f) politely request, that you would like both of you to discuss and find solutions for the issues raised in your lists. And don’t forget to give your spouse or partner a kiss for being a good sport about this exercise.

The Results And Solutions

This simple exercise works like magic all the time. Why does it work.  It works because you demonstrated extraordinary courage, and the responsibility to seek a mutual solution to your problems, without blaming or pointing fingers, but by identifying things that you do wrong too.

It is uncommon to find a spouse or partner, in a troubled relationship who would willingly admit, that part of their problems may be something which they were doing wrong too. By doing this list, any spouse who is a caring, decent human being, and who truly loves you, will not only respect you for doing this, but will cooperate with you to find solutions to your relationship problems. It works like magic.

Go ahead and try it and be proud of yourself for bringing peace and harmony back into your relationship with such a simple idea. Once your partner or spouse completes his or her list, you should both decide the time to go over the lists and discuss it together in a peaceful way. You should exchange the  your lists: you should read aloud the things he or she wrote and he or she should read aloud the things you wrote. Try it.

And the most magical and transcending part of this exercise, is the surprising realization of how much you are loved, valued, and admired by your spouse or partner. This simple exercise will restart and repair the communication problems in your relationship and put you back on the right track.

A Sign For Leaving The Relationship

Abuse is not love. If you are abused in a relationship, it is a very serious matter and you should begin to consider leaving such a relationship. If your spouse or partner gets angry at you in any way shape or form for your efforts in finding a solution to your problems in the relationship, he or she does not care about you, does not love you and it’s time for you to make plans to get out of there before you get hurt worse than you have already been hurt

Please Share Your Experience And Comments

There are uncountable relationships with broken down or lack of communication issues who would benefit from this information, but I may not reach all of them. You may help to expand the reach of this information, with your comments after trying the recommended exercise, and by sharing this information with your friends. I will appreciate it. I would like more people with a break-down in communication in their relationships to use this simple but effective idea. Thank you for your visit. My next post will be super interesting and helpful, so come back soon. Follow me on twitter at: http://www.twitter.com/vincentonvey,  Like me on facebook at: http://www.facebook.com/vincentonvey.

Vincent Onvey

Advertisements
Posted in Self Development | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

We Are All Connected

I wish there were no pain and suffering in the world.

I wish there were no suffering in the world.

I wish there were no wars in the world.

I wish there were no bogotry and discrimination.

I wish there was peace and unity in the world.

Sorry, I can’t have all my wishes but I must fulfill my purpose.

Ignorance and lack of education compounds our problems,

by a few who have ruined things for the rest of us.

The moment I realized that we were one big family

and all connected to one source,

was the day I became free and evolved.

No matter what our differences are,

the blood running through us us is the same red color.

You too would be evolved and free,

when you finally realize that we are all connected to one source.

Once you realize the truth,

you will understand that when you hurt, I hurt too,

that when you are unhappy, I am unhappy too,

that when you are in need, I am in need too,

that when you fail, I fail and feel disappointed too.

When I help you, I am helping myself too.

When I lift you up, motivate and inspire you,

I am motivating and inspiring myself too.

So, the next time you help someone in need, you know now that you

did not lose anything but gained blessings.

We are all connected,

because a piece of you is in me, and a piece of me is in you,

and we are all in our source, as our source is in us.

Even though all my wishes never came true,

cherish and appreciate you as my friend and my family,

because you are special, and we are all connected to once source.

My Appeal To All World Family Members

We may be different in our physical, geographic, ethnic, religious, socio-economic, sexual orientation, and  racial make up, but we are all human beings from one source. We have been raised differently with certain beliefs, biases, and prejudices, which are blindly followed without question, even though we know that they are not fair, and wrong.

How You Treat Others Reflects The Way You Were Raised

But millions of people hurt others based on these beliefs because that is all that they know. These discriminatory and prejudicial beliefs are used to hurt and harm those who are different, due to ignorance, lack of education, lack of understanding, and lack of tolerance. What if the horrible ways you treat those who are different from you, were flipped, and you were treated as horribly as you are treating those who are not exactly like you, would you like it? If you answered no. Then, have the courage to do the right thing: stop treating those who are different from you so horribly. Common sense and decency demands it.

It Is Time To Challenge Your Destructive Belief Systems

If you have been taught or raised all your life to hate certain people because they are different or not like you, you will not change over-night, but a good start would be to learn about and get educated about other people, beyond your limited view of the world and life in general. The way you treat others is based on what you have been taught and raised to believe. You are perpetrating the only views of the world and life that you know. But you can change.

This Is Not A Time To Blame But A Time To Change

This is not the time to point fingers or to blame you for your views of life. This is the time for a change because it is the right thing to do. This is the time for a review of your mistreatment of people who are not exactly like you. This is the time for tolerance, education, and understanding. This is the time to correct the errors in your belief system. This is the time for you to stand up and challenge false beliefs and actions that are wrong, which is hurtful to others.

Stop Judging Others Get To Know Them

This is the time for you to realize and understand that we are all from one source, and that through racism, prejudice, bigotry, and homophobia, you are not only hurting others, but you are hurting and tormenting yourself too. We are all connected to one source. We are one big family, whether you accept this fact or not. The sooner you realize this truth, the better-off, evolved, and freer you will be. The time has come for each of us, to stop judging and condemning others because they are different, but to get to know them. This is the view of a concerned family member. Your reactions, comments, and input would be appreciated. Thank you. Follow me on twitter at: http://www.twitter.com/vincentonvey,  Like me on facebook at: http://www.facebook.com/vincentonvey.

Vincent Onvey

Posted in Self Development | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Power Of Appreciation

Thank you for taking a moment of your time to stop by and read my blog. My very first sentence was an example of my appreciation for your time and the attention you gave to my blog. I could have also expressed my appreciation without any details or explanations, but by using the two words, I consider to be the two most powerful and underestimated words: thank you. However, it appears that majority of people are either unappreciative by nature to say it, too busy to say it, or ignorant of the fact that when someone helps them or does something nice for them, that it’s the right thing to do to say, thank you.

When Was The Last Time You Appreciated Someone

It is a fact of life, that we as human beings do not live in a vacuum. We are not isolated from other human beings, if we are engaged in the process of living. This translates into the fact that as we go about our business of living, we are constantly interacting with other people. In this process of interacting, we are either helping someone or someone is helping us, to meet our needs, achieve our goals, and becoming successful. This further translates to the fact that none of us would be where we are today, with respect to our achievements and success, without the helping hand, support, motivation, and inspiration from other people.

These forgotten heroes in our lives include our parents, teachers, family, friends, employers, co-workers, pastors, healthcare professional, our children, spouse, distant relative, total strangers, people in the legal profession, bus drivers, waitresses, store clerks, your church members, janitors, your teammates, your neighbors, a rich person, a poor person, even people who don’t like you, and the list goes on but for the sake of brevity, I’ll stop here. But you get the point, that the help you received which propelled you to success or where you are today came from someone else. But have you ever taking a moment to say, thank you?

Use This Opportunity To Say: Thank You

I am encouraging you to show your appreciation to the unsong heroes or forgotten heroes in your life, who contributed to your success. It is not too late for you to show your heroes, that you never forgot about them. There is no amount of money in the world that could buy the feeling you get, when someone you helped many year ago surprisingly comes to you, to tell you, thank you, for changing their life, or for saving their life, or for pushing them to be successful, or for helping them accomplish their goal, or for helping them survive a difficult time in their lives. You have to experience it yourself to understand the impact and its rewards.

By the same token, don’t forget, that as you are going about appreciating the heroes in your own life, you are someone’s hero too, and they will come to surprise you with their appreciations and a thank you too. You will be absolutely stunned by the great blessings that these appreciations would bring into your life. I would like you to try it, and see for yourself: “The Power Of Appreciation.”

How To Get Started

You get started, by compiling a list of all the people that you can remember, who helped you to get where you are today. I mean in terms of your success and the achievement of your goals. I don’t mean those who pulled you into a negative and wrong directions. You need to learn from your mistakes and stay away from negative influences in your life.

Your next step is to do some research and contacting those who might know your forgotten heroes. Once you have established contact, ask them for permission, that you would like to pay them a visit. Do not reveal that you are coming with gifts, cards, or other surprises to say, thank you. That makes the surprise even better. Then show up on the date you arranged for your visit and surprise your hero. It’s a moment both of you will never forget.

What Kind Of Surprises Should You Give To Your Hero?

You should draft a very heartfealt and powerful letter, expressing your gratitude and appreciation for the help or input which you received, which changed your life in a positive way. You can do the same with a special greeting card or post card. If you cannot visit your hero in person, mail them your letter or card. You will trully experience the impact of your appreciation, when you visit your hero in person.

If you are successful, or wealthy or rich, that’s an icing on the cake: surprise your hero by giving any amount of cash that you are touched to give. Or get your hero something they’ve always wanted but could not afford to get. This has to be reasonable and within your means. Do something for your hero and their family, and childen. Send the family on a vacation or on a cruise. The key point here, is for you to surprise your unsong hero. Let them know that whatever sacrifices they made for you or on your behalf, was worth it.

Please Share Your Appreciation Experiences On My Page

I would be grateful for your input, by sharing your appreciation experiences on my facebook page dedicated to encouraging the spirit of appreciating our unsong heroes. You don’t have to share personal details and names, just the reactions and how you and your hero felt about your appreciation moment. I have had several appreciation moments, both as a helper and as a beneficiary and it is a terrific feeling. In fact, I shared my greatest experience as the receiver of an appreciation moment from a family that was in dire financial need and in danger of becoming homeless.

Thank You For Stopping By To Read My Blog

I appreciate you, and I thank you for taking a moment of your time to stop by to read my blog. I would like to encourage others to never forget those who helped them to achieve their lifelong goals or those who pushed, helped, motivated, or inspired them to become successful. Many of our heroes are struggling today and have fallen on hard times. That should never continue because of the positive and successful seeds which they planted in their sacrifices for the success of others. They did for you in your own time of need. It is the right thing for you and me to do, to return the favor, by helping them too, by appreciating the good which they did for you and me, by showing our appreciation. It is not too late to tell your heroes these two powerful words: thank you. Follow me on twitter at: http://www.twitter.com/vincentonvey,  Like me on facebook at: http://www.facebook.com/vincentonvey.

Vincent Onvey

Posted in Self Development | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Freedom From Your Abusive Relationship

Abuse is not love. Do you want to be free from your current abusive relationship? Are you fed-up, and sick and tired of the verbal, physical, and emotional abuse? Are you ready to make the choice to escape and regain your freedom? If your answer is, “yes” to any of these questions, then read further because you will find this information not only helpful, useful but liberating.

Abuse Is Not Love

Abusive relationships or domestic violent relationships don’t typical start out with violence and abuse. The relationship usual starts like any normal relationship, with lots of love and affection. However, not very long into the relationship, the true hidden behaviors of the parties begins to manifest itself. This leads to arguments, disagreements, anger, verbal abuse, physical abuse, and resentments. The once harmonious and brief loving relationship goes down hill from this point on.

The Characteristics Of The Abuser

As you may have noticed by your experince as a victim, you may have observed that your abuser used the following tactics to keep you obedient,  emotionally dependent, and afraid to even dare to leave him or her: these tactics include lies, manipulation, control, secrecy, taking away your dignity, and self-esteem, constant apologies, making up, by buying you gifts, making you feel guilty that its all your faul; isolating you from your loved ones, family and friends, making you afraid to express your opinions, making you feel helpless without him or her, which guarantees your complete dependence on your abuser. Your situation, in simply terms, means that you don’t have your own life anymore. The abuser now owns you like a slave. This is not love. This abuse and cruelty.

If It’s That Horrible Why Don’t You Just Leave?

The lack of understanding of the complex dynamics of domestic abuse and the judgmental attitudes by those from outside looking in, usually leads to the question above, which actually hinders rather than helping a victim to break free. Why? Because the victim is not only blamed by the abuser, but by family, friends and everyone else, that the victim  must really enjoy the abuse, otherwise he or she should have left on day one of the abuse. The greatest obstacle to leaving is a paralyzing fear. A fear that no one else would understand but the victim. A victim is afraid for their life.

This judgmental view is easier said when you are not the one who is a victim of domestic abuse. The reality, is that the victim has lost their self-esteem, their dignity, and they have even lost themselves, in the process of the abuse and violence. The abuse victim does not need our judgement and condemnation, but our love, support, and assistance to escape and become free from the abuse.

 How To Prepare For Your Freedom

Please do not kid or fool yourself into believing that you can escape and become free, until you are ready, and have made the choice that this is what you want for yourself. And as a word of caution for your own safety, don’t leave your abuser, if your are going to run right back to him or her. If you will disclose where you are staying and re-establish any kind of contact. If the abuser asks for your forgiveness for his wrongdoings to you, or sends you roses, letters, and gifts and you fall for it, you will be placing yourself in more danger than the first time around, Please don’t fall for these manipulative actions. When you are ready to go, just do it and never look back. Protect and secure your children first.

You should prepare for your escape, by documenting every abuse that have suffered, with day, time, and dates. Contact and report these instances of abuse to your family members and trusted friends and co-workers. You should also have your reports documented by your local law enforcement agency or Police Department. You must keep copies of these reports at a secret place unknown to your abuser. Go online and do a search on domestic abuse agencies and support organizations that would assist you with food, shelter, and protect you and your children, at the moment you leave or escape from your abuser. Do not reveal your location to your abuser.

Work To Put The Pieces Of Your Life Back Together

Yes, you can do this when you are ready to be free from the abusive relationship, the domestic violence, and your abuser. Remember that you are special, with a lot of potential ahead of you, and you don’t deserve this kind of disrespect from anyone. Only you can put a stop to it. Everyone elses can only give you their moral, financial support, and protection.

You can do this, so start planning and with the encouragement from your family, friends, and the resources network which will be working with you. You will accomplished this mission. It is not easy but you can and you will be free when you are ready.

I have listed a few resources below for you to contact, but you can find more in your area or out-of-state, by going online and doing a search on “domestic abuse prevention organizations,” or “freedom from abusive relationships and resources.” I would like to hear from you, if this information was helpful in any way to  help you regain your freedom. Please share your comments without revealing your identity. I send my best wishes to you in your quest for freedom.

Helpful Resources

http://www.helpguide.org

http://www.menstoppingviolence.org

http://www.ncadv.org

http://www.aidv-usa.com

Follow me on twitter at: http://www.twitter.com/vincentonvey,  Like me on facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/vincentonvey.

Vincent Onvey

Posted in Self Development | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Effective Goal Achievement Planner

Do you want to know how to set achievable goals? Do you lack the desire and motivation to follow-through on your set goals? Do you overwhelm yourself by setting too many goals at one time? Do you find it difficult to set goals? Would you like to know how to effectively set goals and achieve them within a short time? If you answered yes, to any of these questions, read on, because I have information that would help you to set your goals, achieve them and accelerate your success.

Set Goals In Your Areas Of Interest

The goal or goals you set should cover only your areas of interest, passion, and talent. This step assures that you would be investing your time, money, energy and efforts pursuing something that you really like doing or something you have a talent for, and the passion to pursue in spite of all odds, challeges or obstacles. For example, if you are not passionate about or interested in politics, it won’t be a realistic idea for you to set a goal, of becoming the president of the United States, in 4 to 12 years. Do you get the point? When you start by setting your goal or goals, involving something you are not interested in, you have already set yourself up for failure.

Set A Specific Goal

When you set a specific goal, you establish a clear path with a single minded purpose to accomplish or achieving it. Here is an example of a specific goal: I would like to open a hairdressing saloon in my community in two years. On the other hand a non-specific or a general goal would be: I will go into business for myself in two years. By being specific, you set into motion all the resources and external positive forces and assistance that would be directed at owning a hairdressing saloon. You will run into positive situations and meet people who will help you to achieve this specific goal.

Gather Neccessary Information Related To Your Goal

Once you have settled on, or chosen a specific goal to pursue, it is very crucial that you start collecting every bit of information you could find that is related to your goal. Information is crucial here, because what you may discover, may actually reduce the time needed to accomplish your goal. One of the greatest resources you have at your disposal is the internet, so use it to your advantage. You should also talk to people who are experts in the areas related to your goal, and ask questions. People will help you succeed.

Put In The Work Necessary To Make It Happen

It is one thing to dream, desire, wish, and setting a goal. On the other hand, it is a whole new ball game to achieve or accomplish a set goal. You should keep in my that your goal is not going to be accomplish automatically, without you putting in the effort, energy, creativity, time, and money required, to get it done. This demands personal discipline, sacrifice, and commitment from you. You should set aside time each day, no matter how uninterested, tired, or lazy you may feel, to accomplish a little bit towards your goal. If you have to say, “no”, to television, parties, and friends who take up your time, so be it.

All Your Hard Work Finally Pays-Off

I will confident assure you, that by implementing the goal achievement plans which I have shared with you here, you will see a significant increase in the rate of your accopmplished goals. You don’t have to make the same mistakes which I made, because I didn’t know any better. I failed to accomplish my set goals hundreds of times. This cost me severely in time, money, energy and my health, due to disappointments and stress. I learned the hard way, through painful experiences. You now know what to do through this opportunity. You have no more excuses for not setting your goal or goals, and accomplishing them within a reasonable time and being successful. Thank you for given me the opportunity to be of help. My next topic will be even better, so check back soon.

Follow me on twitter at: http://www.twitter.com/vincentonvey,  Like me on facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/vincentonvey.

Vincent Onvey

 

Posted in Self Development | Leave a comment